I sat for a long time with worry over my decision to forego the weekend in Chicago with my parents, sisters, brothers, and niece for a normal weekend in Holland. Those who know me are not surprised at my indecisiveness. However, it's a funny thing. Why would I choose the normal, even the mundane, of life at home over a chance to see and laugh with my whole family all together for the first time since New Years?
I'm still not sure I can articulate it correctly, but I think it has something to do with possessiveness of place. I see my life in Holland diminishing like snowbanks in March, and it's easy (although foolish) to believe that my family will have these opportunities forever. And so I try to keep Dimnent Chapel, JP's espresso, and the family in Christ with whom I live frozen in winter for as long as I can, hold them as close as I can. I'm still (and probably will always be) trying to find how I can not hold these things with tight, unforgiving fists, but rather with the grateful surrender God calls us to in Romans 12 and Colossians 3. As with most things, there is a balance to be found.
And so I try to find it. And I do not regret my decision--I only wish that I could have been in two places at once. I actually have a particular affinity for the mundane and everyday of this place. The people here give lazy afternoons, Meijer runs, and late-night kitchen conversations such depth! We didn't do a whole lot besides sit around talking and playing games! And of course homework and church and that sort of thing. I did introduce the girls to Killer Bunnies, though. At first they were a little weirded out, but we laughed, and then we took a spontaneous break to spend half an hour or so chatting about unusual questions like, "What did everyone's grandfathers do for a living?" After that we returned to the game and, somehow, it was enormously funnier. I know I haven't laughed like that in a very long time! It was a blast. We hope to introduce it to more of our friends sometime soon--maybe this coming weekend. Thanks a lot to EB and Brad for giving it to me!
Well, I'm off to a coffee shop to do some writing, Career Services to do some research, and the photo lab to do some printing. Hope everyone's enjoying the melting snow! Here it's creating big lakes all over the roads and the wind (last night the temp was close to 40) feels like a heat wave. Here's to the first tease of Spring.
2 comments:
Not totally foolish; your family will not be as it is now forever, of course, but hopefully there will be many more such gatherings.
And I think I understand you; I would want to hang on to as much of a good thing for as long as I could! Seize the day! Squeeze every drop out of it! Appreciate and revel in what is good! We will be there when this season is over. Love you!!!
ditto what Mom said. :)
and we're here now, too, should you ever wish for a break from one "mundane" sphere to another. :)
love you!!!
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